


Make a Mess of Me

by midnightstreet



Series: Condomless in the Creek [5]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Dirty Talk, Discussion of Condom Use, Dry Humping, Felching, Hand Jobs, M/M, Porn Watching, Post-Episode: s05e03 The Plant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:36:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27649642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightstreet/pseuds/midnightstreet
Summary: The privacy of an apartment means David and Patrick can get up to all sorts of fun.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Condomless in the Creek [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983950
Comments: 26
Kudos: 183





	Make a Mess of Me

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the Condomless in the Creek Fic Fest, a series of works exploring various milestones in their relationship at which David and Patrick might have made the decision to stop using condoms (or discussed it and decided to keep using them). Big thank yous to [Val](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfolded73/pseuds/unfolded73) for wrangling this whole thing!
> 
> My entry takes place two or three days after Patrick moves into his apartment.
> 
> Many thanks to my betas [EggplantSalad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggplantSalad) (without whom this fic wouldn't exist) and [RhetoricalQuestions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhetoricalQuestions/pseuds/RhetoricalQuestions) (the MVP in my support arsenal) as well as the other Buddies who cheered me on in my 5-day mad dash to produce something.

_“Fuck yeah, get it all in there. Give me all your hot come. You like my tight little ass?”_

“Oh, _hello_. What’s this little party? Am I invited?”

Patrick jumps a little, only just resisting the urge to slam the laptop closed, make a run for the bathroom, and pretend David hadn’t seen— er, heard — anything. Instead, he casually hits pause and takes a deep breath.

“Jesus, for a second there I thought you were Ray. I wonder how long it’ll take before I remember that’s not an issue anymore.”

David sets his keys and overnight bag on the table and walks over to rub at one of Patrick’s socked feet, stretched out on the bed.

“Can I see?” David asks, gesturing to the computer. “Or did you want some alone time?” Patrick appreciates the consideration David is showing, not looking at the screen until Patrick says it’s okay, and speaking earnestly, making it clear that he values Patrick’s privacy. 

He scoots over to make room for David — on what’s already been established as _his_ side of the bed (Patrick’s heart gives a little flutter) — and turns the laptop slightly toward David. The screen is frozen on the image of one man licking come out of another’s ass.

“Mm, felching. Nice.”

Patrick hadn’t known what this act was called, only that it was really, _really_ turning him on. “Is that. Umm. Have you ever done that?”

David burrows into Patrick’s shoulder. “I have. Only as the, uh, recipient? Felt amazing, though not worth the guilt the next day for having unprotected sex with some skeevy random.”

Patrick clears his throat, watching his dick try to shove its way through the slit in his boxers at the thought of a nameless someone eating come out of his boyfriend’s ass. He removes the computer from his lap, placing it down near their feet, and taps the space bar with his big toe. The video buffers, but the sound immediately starts back up where it had left off just after David walked in.

With his temple pressed to the ball of Patrick’s shoulder, David looks down at the screen. “Mm, yes, I _very_ much see the appeal here. That’s a lovely ass, isn’t it?” At Patrick’s grunt (whimper) of agreement, David continues: “Reminds me of yours.”

Patrick squawks, indignant.

“No, none of that. You’ll just have to trust me when I say that that thing you’ve got is spectacular. It’s a travesty that you can’t enjoy your own ass the way I get to. You should see the way it jiggles when I spank it, honey; the way it fills my hands when I spread you open.”

The bottom on the screen pants and gasps, pushing up onto his elbows and knees and spreading himself out obscenely. The other man offers his appreciation with dialogue that sounds absurd, but is somehow still arousing to Patrick.

David has noticed Patrick getting back into it. He slides two fingertips into the slit of Patrick’s boxers and toys lightly with the head of his cock, slowly spreading the slick around and down. Patrick has to bite his lip to keep from begging for more.

“You like that? You want someone to do that to you?”

“Yes, _fuck_ , you, only you.”

“Oh honey, I would take such good care of you. Would you spread yourself out like that for me? Let me get a good look at you?”

They’ve done rimming a few times, over the course of their relationship. Patrick had some hangups about being so...exposed, not just to his boyfriend, but in the context of their very limited privacy — nothing killed Patrick’s erection faster than the thought of Ray (or, oh god, one of the Roses) bursting in on them — and David never pushed the issue. Patrick was happy to eat David out til he was moaning and thrashing, but with their living situations, they had never tried very hard to make time for it.

Now that they have a locked door between them and the rest of the world, though, Patrick wonders if they — if _he_ — could try working up to this. It’s just so… _filthy_. It makes his blood run a little hotter than anything else has.

On the screen, the top has gone back to lapping up his own come where it leaks out of his partner’s ass. He’s letting it trickle a little ways down the other guy’s balls before chasing it and bringing it back up, twirling around the pucker that’s fighting to stay clenched even as it’s speared on a very determined tongue. Patrick shifts sideways to grasp David’s wrist, coaxing his fingers further inside Patrick’s underwear. “Take me out,” he whispers, and when he looks up, he’s shocked to see that David is _blushing_. 

David makes quick work of freeing Patrick’s cock, smiling like the cat who got the cream when Patrick produces the bottle of lube from where it had been sitting, forgotten, half-under his thigh. He takes the lube, and the opportunity to nose along Patrick’s jaw, licking at his neck and nipping his earlobe.

Patrick’s eyes are still glued to the screen, where the top is leaning across the bottom’s back, using his longer body to surround the smaller one beneath him. God, Patrick loves that feeling, when he can really appreciate how much bigger David is than him. It makes him feel small; safe. The top dips down and takes his partner’s lips, barely making contact but still going for it, rubbing his now-soft dick into the wet space he’d just been devouring. The camera cuts away from their faces to show the sloppy mess at the end of the bed.

“David. David, kiss me,” Patrick demands, finally tearing his gaze from the men in the video. David’s signature smirk appears, and then Patrick feels a spark of electricity right down to his toes as their lips meet.

David picks up his pace, slick hand flying over Patrick’s cock. Patrick watches, rapt, as David twists and pulls and squeezes so, so perfectly. His attention is drawn back to the screen, watching as the bottom squirms while the top goes back to eating him out. Their dialogue is drowned out by David, nudging under his ear, whispering.

“You want that? I would love to fuck you until you’re all open and sloppy, then lick my come out of your ass. And maybe, if you can be good and not come while I’m fucking you, I could flip you over and blow you with my come in my mouth. Make things nice and slick.”

“David. Oh fuck, yeah, I want it. I want it.”

“We’d have to put down more blankets — you might drip everywhere. God, you’d be so fucking filthy. Me too: my whole face would be wet with it. Would you clean me up?”

Oh, David knows him so well; knows how his pulse speeds up when things get the right kind of dirty. In most areas of Patrick’s life, he’s neat and tidy. Everything must be _just so_. But like this, when they’re in bed together, doing the kinds of things Patrick had never even let himself _consider_ only a few years ago, he _wants_ it. He wants the come and sweat and spit; revels in how free it lets him feel.

Patrick is _on fire_ , sliding a hand up his shirt to pinch at a nipple while David brings him hurtling toward the edge.

“When I’m done, if anything’s left in there we could plug you up like that. Would you like that? You could go into work with a special little secret. Maybe it would shift, and you’d stand behind the counter feeling my come drip down your leg.”

David gives one final flick of his wrist, and that’s it. Patrick is holding his breath, ready — so, _so_ ready — to let go. He comes into David’s fist with a shout, shoulders lifting up off the pillows, curling in on himself. His feet kick out wildly, and the laptop clatters to the floor.

He can’t even bring himself to care.

Patrick takes a few gasping breaths, feet twitching as he scrambles for leverage to keep from sliding down the bed. He barely registers David next to him, gripping Patrick’s bicep and grinding into his thigh.

“Patrick, oh god, you looked so good. I want you to have that, wanna give it to you, wanna give you my come, FUCK!”

David humps against Patrick’s hip once, twice, three times more, then stills, whimpering. Patrick attempts to bring a hand up to pat at David’s hair, but his weak arm lands him closer to David’s nose. He smushes his palm against David’s face, eliciting a noise of complaint.

“Okay, off, off! I just came in my pants like a teenager and there are fabric-rescuing procedures which must be set in motion.”

David struggles to sit up, then slides off the bed, walking bow-legged toward the bathroom. Patrick watches him with a fondness that makes his chest hurt, then strips himself from the waist down before going to retrieve his laptop, from which he can now hear an ad for penis-enlargement pills.

He’s just had a spectacular orgasm, and his computer is still in one piece. Patrick is definitely calling this a win.

++++++++++

Dinner is sizzling away in the wok when David finally emerges from the bathroom. As Patrick had been, he’s naked from the waist down, mournfully clutching a soggy pair of briefs. Patrick gives the stir-fry a few more pokes before turning off the burner and focusing his attention on his boyfriend.

“Was the operation a success, doctor? Has the patient been saved?”

David lifts an eyebrow at him — the one that communicates ‘I love you, but I refuse to lower myself to your level right now’ — and returns to the bedroom, draping his wet underwear carefully over the chair on his side of the bed. Patrick very much appreciates the view of David’s naked ass, and smiles to himself. This is the way things will always be: the two of them in a private, shared space, where they can walk around naked day and night if they want to.

David returns in a fresh pair of joggers (Patrick can’t wait to find out if he put anything on under them) and they tuck into their meal, chatting about David’s afternoon at the store on his own, Alexis’s latest Ted-related drama, and an apparent sudden uptick in Schitt’s Creek’s moth population. One bottle of Riesling is polished off and another is opened. David lets Patrick feed him his dessert, one spoonful — followed by a kiss — at a time. And if a crumb of cake or a dollop of mousse misses its target? Patrick is all too happy to lick it clean.

++++++++++

By the time they climb into bed that night, Patrick has completely forgotten what happened before dinner. Until, that is, David curls up around him from behind, and Patrick feels that little tingle of _safe_ run up his spine. Not for the first time, he thinks David must have some kind of mind-reading powers.

“Do you want to talk about it?” David asks softly.

“I do, yeah. But. Umm. Can you start?”

“Of course, honey. So, what we watched: was that just a fantasy, or is that something you’d actually be interested in?” David laces their fingers together.

“Umm. Interested,” Patrick admits after a long pause.

“Okay. Good. I’m interested too. So, if we want to do that...that would mean me fucking you without a condom.”

Patrick feels a delicious little _zing_ go through him at the ease with which David says it. He gives up the warmth of those strong arms to turn over and face his boyfriend, only barely able to make out the prominent features of his face in the light filtering through the blinds. “I know we’ve talked about it before,” Patrick whispers, “but...”

“But?”

Patrick pauses, but finds himself distracted with the effort of trying to read David’s face in the near-dark. “Would it be okay if we turned the light on?” David nods, and Patrick reaches back to turn on the lamp. He’s grateful to turn back and be greeted by David’s smile. “Hey gorgeous.”

“Hey yourself. So. Tell me what you’re thinking. About felching, about condoms...about how attractive you find me.” David preens, “Any of those topics will do.”

“Do you want to be complimented, or do you want to talk about coming in my ass?” Yeah, that feels...really good to say.

David puts on a faux-serious face. “Mm, fair enough. So, we’ve talked about this before: I didn’t want to push you, but really, I wasn’t all that eager to fuck bare anyway. It can be hot, sure, but it’s not always worth the cleanup; I don’t think I would ever have wanted to risk a waddle to Ray’s bathroom.”

Patrick winces at the thought.

“But if this is something you want to try, you don’t have to talk me into it.”

“I do want to. I really, really do. Thank you, David.”

David smirks. “No thanks necessary. Have I not told you already how much I love that ass?”


End file.
